Lisa 37/365
This is a cheat. 4 generations of women. And I am obsessed with thinking
about them right now. And so much of my current stress, tension and
heartache is in this picture. My grandma has a heart problem. Her heart is
getting tired now. She overheard one doctor telling another that there was
nothing more he can do. She has way too much life in her for this to be
happening.
My mom has been battling oral cancer. She recently found out she is in the
clear. And yet the elation isn't there. It is apprehension. And it
doesn't automatically feel better. She is underweight. She has a PEG tube
that hurts her. She can't consume food right now. She was recently told
that even with her permanent appliance in her mouth (they removed her entire
upper jaw), that she will never chew again. She is unhappy. She's pissed
off. I would be too.
And there is me, who is not coping with stress well right now. Unhappy with
a myriad of things.
Which leads to my daughter. My beautiful baby girl. And how because of
these stresses, I am not the mom I should be to her. And that makes me sad
as well.
Life is never easy, but right now it feels especially difficult, depressing
and sad. Feeling that way sucks.
about them right now. And so much of my current stress, tension and
heartache is in this picture. My grandma has a heart problem. Her heart is
getting tired now. She overheard one doctor telling another that there was
nothing more he can do. She has way too much life in her for this to be
happening.
My mom has been battling oral cancer. She recently found out she is in the
clear. And yet the elation isn't there. It is apprehension. And it
doesn't automatically feel better. She is underweight. She has a PEG tube
that hurts her. She can't consume food right now. She was recently told
that even with her permanent appliance in her mouth (they removed her entire
upper jaw), that she will never chew again. She is unhappy. She's pissed
off. I would be too.
And there is me, who is not coping with stress well right now. Unhappy with
a myriad of things.
Which leads to my daughter. My beautiful baby girl. And how because of
these stresses, I am not the mom I should be to her. And that makes me sad
as well.
Life is never easy, but right now it feels especially difficult, depressing
and sad. Feeling that way sucks.
5 comments:
I'm sending positive thoughts your way. I hope things get better
I wish I could make everything okay for you! You're in my thoughts and I hope things improve soon. Bex
Thats quite a story. I'm sorry you are going through this. Please try to find the tiny bits of positive you can and enjoy those things. I hope things look up for you. {{{hugs}}}
I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this at the moment. When it rains it pours....
I am so sorry.
I've had a somewhat similar experience myself.
I am sending healing thoughts your way.
One important lesson I learned and I would like to pass along if you don't mind is: always remember to take care of yourself. I know that's hard to do sometimes, but it will make you stronger. It will allow you to be there for those who need you. Rest, eat right, de-stress, do what nurtures your spirit and then you will have the will and the strength to nurture others. Take it from someone who didn't take care of herself, I realize now how important that is in times of intense stress. Sometimes it's as simple as making sure you get a full night's sleep.
My two cents (even though you didn't actually ask for them...)
I am so sorry you and your family are going through this.
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