Karen 66/365
Diamond guarantees for all my/our good jewelry, including our wedding
jewelry. I'll be taking it in tomorrow for the bi-annual check and cleaning,
plus get the man's wedding band re-sized to fit him again. Seems kind of
pointless to do that right now when I'm not sure how much longer this
marriage is going to last. These guarantees also are somewhat relevant to
the discussion we had tonight. Again. Same basic discussion, same basic
content. More of how I'm not trying to keep this marriage together, how
he'll never understand how I can just turn off the love, how commitment just
doesn't mean the same to me and how it should trump happiness, how I'm
throwing so much away, and how he thinks now that he doesn't even want to be
my friend afterward if we divorce because I'm not being one now.
And here come the tears again...
jewelry. I'll be taking it in tomorrow for the bi-annual check and cleaning,
plus get the man's wedding band re-sized to fit him again. Seems kind of
pointless to do that right now when I'm not sure how much longer this
marriage is going to last. These guarantees also are somewhat relevant to
the discussion we had tonight. Again. Same basic discussion, same basic
content. More of how I'm not trying to keep this marriage together, how
he'll never understand how I can just turn off the love, how commitment just
doesn't mean the same to me and how it should trump happiness, how I'm
throwing so much away, and how he thinks now that he doesn't even want to be
my friend afterward if we divorce because I'm not being one now.
And here come the tears again...
9 comments:
I'm sorry Karen. (((HUG))).
I'm very sorry for the pain and confusion you must be feeling now. I hope for you some clarity and peace.
I'm sorry hun. Email me off list if you want to talk about it. I'm right there with you.
All I can advise is to truly take one day at a time...Terrance and I have been cruising this edge for a couple of years now....and the only thing I have learned is that I can't control the way things go...I just have to wait and see.
But it can be a shitty wait.
Commitment does NOT trump happiness. I advise marriage counsuling and if he won't go, counsuling for yourself to determine what you need to do for YOU.
*gets off soapbox*
Goddess, we have done counseling. We've gone as far as Colorado for a weekend of counseling. It doesn't seem to be helping I just can't seem to make myself have the 'want' anymore.
So sorry for all of this. I hope you find some resolution and contentment and happiness soon.
So sorry for all of this. I hope you find some resolution and contentment and happiness soon.
I was told every single one of those things by my ex husband, and to tell you the truth, I actually didn't disagree with some of it. Sometimes feelings are just hard to understand and even harder to control. Even when they are your own. I remember specifically the "turn off freelings one" and the "not trying one".........I just didn't have an answer......and eventually my answer was divorce. I hope you find out whats best for you soon. I know how hard it can be. {{hug}}
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