Summer 81/365
After 9 straight days of work...finally, a day off. My monthly infertility
reminder showed up yesterday...
I've been napping & drinking coffee and thinking...maybe, just maybe
4kiddlets is enough, maybe the answer to my prayer
for more has been answered....maybe the answer is NO
maybe its time to be appreciative of what I do have and let this thing, that
is making me a little crazy go. Babies can give you an
excuse to not take care of yourself like you should....maybe, the answer to
my prayers are
"Its time to take care of yourself"
2 comments:
I have no wise words of advice. All I can say is that I struggled with this when deciding to Not have more after Em. All signs were pointing to secondary infertility as a very strong possibility and my doctors were essentially saying "If you want another, you need to start trying NOW, because it could take several years..."
And all my friends were having first and second babies and Well, I wanted another baby to prove I could do it, could do to better somehow than my first time.
And with my depression issues, I would need to stay on Prozac through a pregnancy and then be carefully monitored postpartum after my nearly Stage 3 PPD with Em...
When I was completely honest with myself - Brutally honest - Having another baby would not be good for me. So therefore, not good for anyone. "Doing it better" is not a good enough reason for me to usher another life into our world.
So, I get twinges of baby lust still. The smell of a baby can do it.
I don't know what the right answer for you is, or should be - but I hope for peace and resolution as you while you contemplate this.
You might be onto something... Sometimes its better to stop trying to control life and just let it happen.
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