Kirsten 351/365


Car for Sale. '97 Honda Accord Special Edition with 106K miles. Great
condition, runs great Asking $4,250.

The last few days I have been so stressed out I'm sick. My stomach
constantly hurts. Food of course makes it worse. I'm shaking like crazy
can't stop crying and have absolutely no focus. I feel likes shit and a
failure. I take care of our kids and keep the house running (all aspects),
clean businesses on the weekends, summer job I clean 10 pools on weekends as
well and I'm a Pampered Chef consultant. Yet its still not enough. So I have
to quickly get my Child Care service started up again before the end of
September. At the end of September my pool job will be leaving and we NEED
that money right now.

In order to have my business I need a 7-8 passenger vehicle so I can take
and pick up kids from preschool (now that bailey is going) and if we want to
go anywhere I have to be able to transport them, even in emergency
situations. BUT in order to have the car I need my business to be running so
I can afford the insurance and car payments. Things are still uncertain and
that scares the ever loving shit out of me. I have to be in control of what
goes on, everything must be planned. To have three big (to me) changes to
happen in the next month. I'm having some serious panic attacks over here.
Not to help but Tyler and I of course are fighting over what we each think
should happen. mostly with the car.

Sometimes a best friend is really needed in these situations. Just wish I
had one.

6 comments:

Niki August 18, 2010 at 12:27 AM  

I Know it's a hug from a stranger but, *hug* I'm sorry you're struggling and I hope things work out better than expected.

nicole from envisage August 18, 2010 at 7:55 AM  

Oh no, I'm sorry things are so stressful. I know what you mean - when things aren't going so well sometimes the uncertainty is what kills you. I'd also rather have a nice organized plan for dealing with things! But I think you're totally awesome for juggling all those jobs while taking care of the kids and house - you're clearly a talented, strong person. xx

Mary Jane August 18, 2010 at 10:08 AM  

Bless your heart...I wish we lived closer. I do know that you are go-getter and you will figure this out. Just take it one detail at a time....breathe deep. And say a little prayer.

Linda August 18, 2010 at 10:14 AM  

Sorry you're having such a rough time, Kirsten. It's good you can at least get some of it out here, though. In the absence of a nearby best friend, Internet buddies can sometimes fill at least part of the gap. You know every single Envisage lady would give you a hug in person if they could. And you have our email addresses. Feel free to vent any time. Hugs to you...

Marie August 18, 2010 at 10:37 AM  

Coming from me too. I totally relate. I have a lot of friends, but I don't have one best friend anymore that I trust with everything, it's exhausting to carry that load yourself. I hope that the anxiety of the pending month is worse than the pending month and you come out in October smelling like a rose. Good luck with the car!!!

Rebecca August 18, 2010 at 2:37 PM  

You're amazing and will get through this one day at a time! Love and hugs, Bex

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