Melissa 337/365
I think the lack of sleep has finally caught up with me.
I drove around crying for an hour because Matt asked to go out for the
second Friday in a row and to go away for 3 days at the end of August.
I feel like a nanny. I stay home all day and clean, cook, do laundry and
take care of Jack. He cries so much because of the acid reflux. I just
want to go out and be free for a night but I can't. I am sooo tired I have
no desire to go or do anything. I can't go out for a long period of time
because I have to pump and couldn't even drink. I don't think he gets it.
He hasn't spent 1 full day with him alone, he has no idea how hard this is.
4 comments:
Oh honey. :( That's such a hard place to be. You love the baby, but you resent the baby because you have to spend so much time. Your hormones aren't balanced out yet. You're tired.
If I were closer you could come over here and nap.
Hip housewife is right. Your husband might also be afraid to spend alone time with him. I know it took my husband a while because our daughter was so small. He was afraid to hold her. Its a really hard time but it will pass.
You might just need to ask him to watch Jack while you run to the store really fast and stay out for a few hours. Let Matt figure out how to do things the same way you did. It worked on my husband and I got a nice nap in my car and some shopping done!
Hang in there. :-) Bridget
Oh sweetie. We have all been there and I saw this from the bottom of my heart. Leave the baby. Go out, even if it is to a coffee shop and read. Or play stupid computer games.
Let Matt handle it - FORCE him to handle it. We Moms make it too easy for Dads to not have to get in there and get their figurative hands dirty.
Both boys will survive. They both may bitch at you when you get back, but they will survive.
And Yes, it isn't your imagination - This is Hard. Soul crushingly hard. Like staring at the wailing baby at 2 in the morning and thinking "This was the worst fucking idea of my life" hard.
And you can drink - a little. A beer, a glass of wine. None of these things in moderation are going to pass out of your breastmilk and brain damage your child. I used to suggest to new Moms that Yeast in Beer actually promotes production of Breast Milk - and it doesn't go into your mouth as alcohol and come out of your boob as pure alcohol either. My own Mom was a lactation consultant AND I worked with new breast feeding moms for Years.
Deep Breaths.
Post a Comment