SarahTwo 19/365
Tonight was my sister's bachelorette party. Though I'm MOH, a friend of
hers offered to do most of the stuff and I let her. Big mistake. I had
thought that someone my sister's age (ten years younger than myself) would
have a better idea what she would find fun - instead, she threw a party that
wasn't very much fun for my sister.
I find it very difficult to ask for and/or accept help. I am a control freak
about a LOT of things - and to me, it was very difficult relinquishing
control of my sister's party to her friend. To then have the event be a
bust, and my sister not enjoying herself? It doesn't bode well for me in
making a practice of letting go of the reins.
I'm mad at myself for not planning it - and I'll be taking my sister out
next weekend, I hope, for a small low key do-over: low key dinner, maybe a
hers offered to do most of the stuff and I let her. Big mistake. I had
thought that someone my sister's age (ten years younger than myself) would
have a better idea what she would find fun - instead, she threw a party that
wasn't very much fun for my sister.
I find it very difficult to ask for and/or accept help. I am a control freak
about a LOT of things - and to me, it was very difficult relinquishing
control of my sister's party to her friend. To then have the event be a
bust, and my sister not enjoying herself? It doesn't bode well for me in
making a practice of letting go of the reins.
I'm mad at myself for not planning it - and I'll be taking my sister out
next weekend, I hope, for a small low key do-over: low key dinner, maybe a
movie.
6 comments:
I'm so much like you and for this very reason. The down side to not being able to let go of the reins is that there will always be someone who calls you a control freak. I've come to terms with it and I don't care.
As one of my favorite therapists said to me You can not control other adults and if you try, it will end up badly all around.
This is why we practice. To harden our shells a bit, de-personalize and detach.
What kind of party did she throw?
My sister is more of a chill-out and kick back with friends kind of person versus a go bar-hopping and hit the dance floor kind of person. There was a scavenger hunt with "kiss a military guy" and "get a hot guy to show you his abs" type stuff - which my sister wasn't really up for. She's never been the type of person (even when single) to really dig that.
A more low key night would have been more in line with her personality.
(That the mother of the groom was pulling some passive aggressive BS and the sister of the groom picked a fight with my sis were only ICING ON THE CAKE.).
Dawn - I have a long way to go in regards to a lot of things. I could have planned the event and had it be a more low key thing and there still could have been stuff that went wrong with it - and I know that... but there's that part of me that feels like I let my sister down because I picked the wrong time to "let go" of something. OY.
Forgive yourself.
Life is more than a bachelorette party. Maybe a conversation about the P/A Mother and Sister in Law to be would stand in good stead over a bottle of wine...cause god knows they ain't going away.
a good bachelorette party can change your life...
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